Peace in the midst of chaos.

28 Aug Peace in the midst of chaos.

Another summer spent in Honduras, the same question asked “How was your summer?” It seems like a simple question but a question that brings up so many thoughts and emotions it’s hard to put in to words. I could talk about how the beginning of the summer a young boy from the Los Bordos community lost his life too early, or a few weeks later the call about a friend in the states only being given a few weeks left to live, or I could talk about the fact that the government in Honduras found it reasonable for an all-boy’s orphanage to have a few girls thrown into the mix or I could bring up the fact that many families that I love and have relationships with had been kicked out of their homes by the government and no longer live in Los Bordos. I’m not going to lie, this was a hard summer. I experienced a lot in my two months on Summer Staff with Sparrow and from it I grew a lot. It was like everywhere I turned something was happening that hurt, things I felt were unjust. I felt as if confusion and discomfort were around me at all times. I questioned God’s goodness and faithfulness. I struggled to find the peace of the Lord in a world of chaos.

In the midst of the chaos I was reminded of the passage in Mark chapter four when Jesus calmed the storm. In verse 35 Jesus says “Let’s go over to the other side.” Jesus took the disciples left the crowd where he was preaching, and got into boat to go to the other side. This summer I was looking at it from the disciple’s point of view. I’m sure when they got in the boat they had no clue what the “other side” had in store for them. This summer I was able to relate that story to when we walk as Christians with the Lord we often forget that there are going to be bad days where we are faced with things that we would never expect to happen. On their journey to the other side a huge storm hit, the water was flooding into the boat and the winds were rocking the boat.  Can you imagine the dismay of the disciples as they were calling out to Jesus who was asleep and they got no response? This summer I often felt like the disciples did then they were in this moment. I felt like I was staring injustice in the face calling out to the Lord and he was just “sleeping.” Then Jesus woke up from his sleep and said “Silence! Be still.” The waves stopped and the winds died down. Can you imagine the looks on the disciples faces when they had been screaming out for the Lord for who knows how long, and in a split second the Lord calmed the storm?

What happened when they got to the “other side?” When they got to the other side they were able to share their story of Jesus and his faithfulness even in the midst of the storm. He was able to not only calm the actual storm but calm their hearts and provide them with a peace that only the Lord can provide. This summer I made it to the “other side”, and I’m able to see the Lord’s peace even in the midst of the injustice of this world. I can relate to the disciples and the fact that this summer I went through many storms and tried to seek the Lord’s peace and faithfulness in the middle of those storms. I experienced a lot of loss whether it be with the lives of others or in relationships. In Los Bordos, I have formed many relationships and over the past 5 years I have been able to grow and continue to grow in those relationships. One relationship in particular is with the Rodriguez family. Three days into my trip the eldest son lost his life way too early leaving his family in the middle of a storm of questions. Wendy, the mother, grieved the loss of her eldest and still continued to support and love her family including me. It was really hard for me to grasp the fact that she was at peace. All I could see was the injustice.  I was confused and mad at the fact that something like this would happen. Again, I was staring injustice in the face screaming at the Lord and it felt like I was receiving no response. I felt like the disciples did when they were in the middle of the storm. Throughout the summer it was hard for me to understand but I was able to learn and grow in the fact that it was okay to be upset, angry or even a little mad. I held fast to the Lord and his promises because they are good. Through the questioning I was able to find peace in the Lord. I held on to the verse 1 Peter 3:11 “They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.” I had not been actively pursuing the peace of the Lord as I was trying to seek the peace in answers. I was so caught up in the evil things and the whys that I lost the fact that because I know Jesus I have a peace that far surpasses the questions I have.

I know the Lord’s promises are true and he is good even in the middle of chaos. I can stand firm in the fact that I have peace in the Lord. The Lord has used these challenges that I faced this summer by giving opportunities to minister to others. Even though it was an emotionally hard summer for me I am thankful for the opportunity the Lord gave me to serve in Honduras. I was able to grow and learn even more promises about Lord and his peace.